Making the decision to get married is an emotional and exciting time in every couple’s life. It is also not a time when most couples stop to consider how they are going to address challenges in their relationship, what to do when they have disagreements and how to have meaningful discussions about difficult topics.
The reality of this lack of understanding often hits when real issues come up in life. Arguments and hurt feelings occur that may never really be addressed. Instead, they simmer under the surface until the next issue, ready to pop up and add fuel to the fire.
Through premarital counseling, a professional counselor or coach can work with a couple prior to the wedding to teach the skills they need to communicate with each other and work through these problems. With a practiced way to have these difficult conversations in the playbook, there is less chance of arguments spiraling out of control. There is also less chance of one person feeling hurt, betrayed, or misunderstood since both have the skills to be both effective speakers and listeners.
Should We Go?
Most couples have heard of premarital counseling and may even have had a married friend recommend the process. However, the couple may laugh it off because admitting they may not be “the perfect couple” is just something they don’t want to consider.
x`The reality is everyone can benefit from pre-wedding counseling. This is not reactive or treatment-based counseling but rather a way to get a better understanding of yourself, your partner and your ability to work through issues in a relationship.
Most couples don’t have problems in good times. Dating or even cohabitating is often one of those good times where all those little weird things the other person does are adorable, cute, or maybe even a bit eccentric. When there are problems with the finances, the family, the kids or with each other, those little things become big problems.
That’s the Way We Do It
Another set of issues that can be addressed in premarital counseling is expectations that each partner has based on their experiences in their own families. How our parents handled their relationship and the roles that each assumed is part of how we see our relationship.
When these expectations are not healthy or are in direct conflict with the other person, conflict is going to occur. By talking through these issues and developing healthy and realistic expectations about your relationship, it is possible to avoid many common pitfalls that cause marriages to fail.
Working with a professional counselor for premarital therapy provides a safe, confidential place to have these discussions. It allows you to become more intimately aware of each other and how to communicate, which is a key foundation for any successful relationship.
Contact LifeWorks Group, LLC to schedule an appointment.
